List of lessons I learned from the famous Tiktoker ReesaTeesa’s self-titled 52-part series Who TF did I marry (no spoilers)
A brave black woman who goes by ReesaTeesa on TikTok less than seven days ago decided to use her testimonial on dating, marrying, and divorcing a pathological liar and surviving emotional abuse. She uploaded a 52-part series titled “ Who tf did I marry.”
In less than a week, her vulnerability, transparency, and heartbreaking story gained about a million followers.
Even if you have not watched the entire series, by the time you finish this blog post, you will learn the main lessons from her testimony about marrying the wrong man.
Do not rush God.
In part 16, the interlude, she gave a powerful message about how she felt God was taking too long to provide her with a partner. She was ready to be married and wanted to bend God’s will to fit her goal. Often, women wish to have children and be married ( 90% of my followers and supporters), and because of that, we are aware of our biological clock. I have this joke with my friends that I believe we all hear it ticking. The pressures of school, careers, dating, and having it all by the time we are still in childbearing age are legitimate concerns that most of us face.
God “taking too long” or losing faith in what you are praying for is the main ingredient to complete disaster.
When it comes to marriage and the family unit, the Devil is always waiting to steal, kill, and destroy. Distracting you from a partner who does not value the same things can hinder you from your intended purpose.
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Please don’t move your boundaries.
In the beginning, she shared how she was ready to be married and found herself doing the opposite of what she believed and was taught by her parents. She does not believe in playing house! However, she moved in with her boyfriend within a month of dating. During the time, it was COVID-19, which was already fear-driven with all the media pressures and unknown medical information spreading across the world.
Although it was during COVID-19, I want you to know that this occurred in Atlanta, GA (my hometown and where I reside). We were not shut down as long as the rest of the world.
House is a game reserved only for children. Once we grow up, we stop playing that.
Moving in with her boyfriend was one of the only times she shared with her friends what was happening in the relationship. When she shared they were moving in, her friends asked if she was sure. Her response was, “ I did not want quarantine alone.”
Your intuition is always correct.
Before the wedding occurred, looking back, she shared that each time, the red flag and the feeling in her stomach and body did not sit well with her.
Our bodies are made to alarm us when something is wrong. The Holy Spirit is your helper and is alive in you to tell you when something is wrong. Refrain from finding out exactly what it is.
By part 23 of the 52-part series, Reesa Teesa shared more than ten times she did not feel suitable for his answers and actions.
Outside of her testimony, there were also times when other women told her that they had bad feelings about her husband’s actions. God knew she was second-guessing and ignoring her intuition, so he sent others.Loading…
The difference between a pathological liar and a compulsive liar
You can find all this and the embedded videos on my website here. I never remotely thought about the difference between the two. According to the internet, the difference is in the intent.
Pathological Liars
According to the Newport Institute, pathological liars are not considered to have a mental health disorder but disordered thinking. These liars are compulsive, and their lies are elaborate, often driven by irrational needs and manipulation.
Compulsive liars
For compulsive liars, it just feels right. Telling the truth can be awkward, and they are likelier to admit lying when confronted. They lie for no real reason and sometimes no benefit.
Always meet his family & friends.
Meeting the friends and family of a man you intend on marrying is a MUST. It is safe to argue that you should meet his friends even if you do not plan on marrying him. His friendships will have a lot of information to give you. The company a man keeps says a lot about his character. Although I do not participate in everything my friends do, we value the same things. My closer circle of friends and I have identical beliefs and lifestyles. The same should be said for a man.
Often, I see women make excuses for their partners or men they like by saying, “Well, at least mine is better than his friends.” There are two essential things to note when it comes to that.
- Done by design- master manipulators keep people who appear worse than them to get other women to assume that they aren’t just as bad. It is all about perception.
- He has none- I do not know which is worse, but someone without friends is more likely unsafe.
Never neglect your other relationships.
After my breakup, one of the best books I have read this year is Loving Him without Losing You by Beverly Engel. The book is about protecting yourself and your identity as a woman by not disappearing from friends and family.
As women, we are consciously taught to prioritize male relationships over others. Sometimes, we do not even notice because of social pressures and grooming that was done when we were children.
In the series, Reesa rarely shares her friend’s opinions of the situation with her husband because she never shares them with them. Although we do not know her personally, if a friend had done all this for her, it wouldn’t have gotten this far.
Who tf did I marry? Beware of the hobosexual.
A homosexual is a man who is often unhoused and uses prey on women who have stable lives to live in their homes. This is a massive thing in Atlanta, GA, and I have watched it happen before my eyes. Unhoused men can be put together and charming! Let’s face it: some people can be between situations and going through something, so they do not have a place to stay. That is not the issue; the issue is when they manipulate women into thinking they like them to use their homes and disturb their peace.
I can write a blog post on moving in with men who are not your husband…
Leaving the game of house for kids to play at recess is the best way to dodge a hobosexual.
It is not what you know but who you know.
Near the end of the series, Reesa shares her experience seeking protection. She says, “It is not what you know; it is who.” In extreme situations, it is essential to research the local law enforcement in your area. It is okay to contact your police station and even the police chief if you have questions or concerns.
As a minority woman, our outlook on police is different than others for many reasons, but it was not until I matured and moved to DC I learned law enforcement can help in many situations.
You do not have to know everything; God places people in your life who can help you if you have the right attitude and are open to receiving.
- Be curious
- Be courageous
- Be open
Fear and shame can be your downfall.
There is no surprise (well, to some) that the devil operates on fear and shame. In this situation, it was fear of being alone or too “late” for children and the love that she wanted and then to keep her in, the shame of admitting others were right. This cycle is the reality of many women today! It does not have to be through the lens of a male relationship, but since a lot of women are groomed worrying about social pressures, they fall victim to it.
God will turn it around.
God will always turn around what the enemy planned to use as a weapon. Although all those things happened to Reese due to the neglect of her intuition, boundaries, and other things, God is using her story now to change her life. Within days, she has gained millions of followers and above-average engagement. I can bet she did not know it would get this big. We don’t know what is next: a movie deal, show, or mini-documentary series.
Through the pain and sleepless nights and every mistake, God can always turn it around, especially for those who serve him.
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