It is an evil world out here! Not to my surprise, some men genuinely do not like women. I am not talking about them being a part of the LGBTQA community, either. These men see women as fairy-like/ not as human beings or as objects to be used for their pleasure. If you are a woman reading this, you likely have met a man in one of the two categories. Dating a man who does not see you as a human being is quite traumatic; depending on the red flags put down, it can take a while even to realize. After reading this post you will learn if you are dating a man who does not like women.
I have met both and even dated one while in college! That man did not like me, and looking back, I would not have done anything differently because it taught me what to look out for in the dating process. To take it further, I will make it my mission to instill biblical values in my future son.
Pay attention to things a man says when you are getting to know him, they will usually dig themselves in a hole:
He humbles you
With any relationship, whenever you have milestones in life, you want to share them with your friends or significant other. When you share the news with a man, watch how he reacts. A man who does not like you will downplay your wins and even dismiss them. Just like an unsupportive friend, they might bring up their goals and accomplishments that they have crossed off. When this happens, you might feel the need to shrink, but don’t.
The first time it happened to me, I was excited about my college graduation, and at the time, my boyfriend went to a school down the street from me that was well-known for engineering. When I expressed my excitement about graduating with a marketing degree, he mentioned he probably would get a better job and make more than me. ( Funny enough, he was wrong lol). The point is that it hurt my feelings and he dismissed how I felt. Once a man tries to put you down to pull himself up in the slightest sense, he will continue to do so, and it will only worsen!
He dismisses your feelings
When dating a man, he must create a safe space for you to communicate how you feel. Some men say they want peace and then create a hell-like environment, like news flashes. Angels do not live in hell! If you communicate how you feel about certain situations and the person you are with shrugs them off or says you are ” too emotional,” get out NOW.
It might sound funny, but if you ever hear a man say he wants a woman to be his peace, he is, in fact, about to create hell and expect you to be okay with it.
As women, we reflect on the environments we are in.
The slippery slope is that if you do not validate your feelings, allowing someone to do the same can be difficult. Please always make sure you know how you feel and feel your emotions at the time. At the time, when I was in college, I did not validate how I thought about a lot because I was so used to men and the media telling me that I was “emotional” when things happened. You are a human who has feelings and gets sad and mad about things. That is life! Feel them and be okay with the next.
For more red flags and lessons to learn while in your dating season, check out Lessons I learned from ‘Who tf did I marry?’
He talks about you to his friends.
Something about the men who do not respect women have this trait. One thing I can’t stand is a gossiping man! If you find out the guy you are dating is spreading your business and talking about you badly to his friends, let him go. This one is more difficult to see the smoke and mirrors because his friends might not tell you or tell you after you decide to stop dating him. If you have mutual friends with the guy you are dating and their loyalty is to you, hold them close.
It is already a red flag for a man not to be capable of adequately communicating his feelings ( not your fault nor problem), but that is not what this post is about. Men who do not like women make it their mission to tear down their image; it is about others’ perception of them and tarnishing your reputation!
He only “respects” women he is sexually attracted to
One of the first tail-tail signs of a man who does not respect women is how he treats them! The woman he is not with, not attracted to, and will not receive anything from. He will not be a gentleman to elderly women nor pregnant women and would not even dare give up a seat to a woman. This type of man will see a woman struggling with something like groceries or anything and will keep on about his day. It’s probably one of the most accessible traits to recognize on this list; some women ignore this one by thinking he likes them extra.
He will also repost and listen to media that puts women down for their choices. Something about men who consume this type of content needs to be studied. He is not a full-blown podcast bro, but a podcast bro supporter. Watch the kind of content he posts, comments, and shares online!
Be careful of being a man’s barbie doll, he will always find a new one to buy
He does not listen
Have you ever talked to a toddler, and instead of listening to their gibberish, you just saw awwww and handed them something to play with? Yeah, that is what a man who does not like women will do. He will not listen to your problems or anything. He might ask you about your day, which seems normal, but as soon as you start to share, he is paying no attention.
The guy I dated in college was like that. When I spoke, he said, “Aww, you’re just so cute,” like I was a pet. I kid you not, comments like, ” You’re like a Barbie; you don’t even have to speak.” I would receive so many compliments from this man, but he would not comprehend my words. I could tell him the worst thing happened, and he would have no recollection of the conversation but kiss me on the forehead or something.
He does not view you as an equal
One of the worst traits a man can have is thinking that he is superior to women. It does not have to show up as blatant as saying this out loud and verbatim, but in the collection of the traits of this post. Whenever a man is so stuck on the word leadership and submissiveness, run! I love to take it all the way back to the Bible because it is even worse when it is a “christian man” acting like this. If God truly thought Adam was okay alone he would have stopped with him there, instead he said ” It is not good for man to be alone” God made Adam a helper. (Genesis 2:8)
The obsession with leadership is an obsession with control. True leaders do not have to manipulate or put others down. Authentic leadership creates safety and comfort for those who want to be led. A good example of this is the show Married to Medicine on Bravo. Dr. Alicia’s husband does not see her as an equal, as he talks about other women.
He devalues your opinion
No amount of education can outrun a man who does not value anything you say. A man who does not value you or like you. If the man you are dating does not value your opinion, he will ignore it, not ask for it, or say things like you do not know what you are talking about. Someone who views you as an equal will want to hear your opinion on life choices, especially since men and women see things differently. Men who understand the purpose and power of a woman, will ask because they know we are blessed with a type of intuition that men do not have.
One of the best books I’ve read in 2022 was Understanding the Purpose and Power of Women by Myles Monroe.
He is obsessed with holding you accountable for HIS actions
Lately, this topic of accountability has taken the media by storm. When I listen to some men talk about why they are single, they say things like ” someone needs to hold women accountable” or ” women take no accountability”. I am unsure if it is just my algorithm, and maybe this needs to be researched further. More women tend to take time to work on themselves to become self-aware and more disciplined.
Oddly enough, to use Reesa Teesa’s 52-part ‘Who tf did I marry!?’ series, I see men in the comments blaming her for another man’s actions. Whenever you experience something traumatic, and the first thing out of the mouth of the man you are dating is telling you to be accountable, run! Especially experiences topics of abuse and assault.
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